Dear Friends:

 It is with the saddest heart I pass on the following:

 Please join me in remembering a great icon. The Pillsbury Doughboy who
died
 yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in
the
 belly. He was 71.

 Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities
 turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack,
 the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain
 Crunch.

 The grave was piled high with flours. As longtime friend, Aunt Jemima,
 delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who never really knew
how
 much he was kneaded.

 Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with
 turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his
 dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he was
a
 crusty old man and was considered a roll model for millions.

 Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough and
 Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his
 elderly father, Pop Tart.

 The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes.